Abstract:

GRIT is learnable, and often . . . by example.

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Remember those vocabulary tests we all took during our school days?

Yuck!

Whether taking the test for English class or for the ACT or SAT, vocabulary studying was certainly the bane of my existence from the age of eleven to eighteen.

Ah yes, words like inexorable, bellicose, and magnanimous . . . I would say, “when am I ever going to use those words?”

What’s the point, right?  Almost as silly as math in the age of the computer and smart phone.

Well this past week I had the chance to spend some time with my sister’s family.  My 13 year old niece is enjoying her summer, no doubt.  In addition to hanging with friends and engaging in summer camp-like activities, she is practicing for a test to help her go to the high school of her choice.

I know what you are thinking, one day we will have the PSSAT (Pre-School Scholastic Aptitude Test).  Just stay with me here . . .

I was amazed by her commitment to learning.  It made me realize how nothing increases our choices more than the effort we put into a task.  Psychologists and educators call it grit, and someone who has grit possesses the self-control and stamina to see a task completed and completed well.

And the good news is grit is “learnable”.  Certainly this can transpire alone through personal trial and error.  However, I watched it being taught by a dedicated caregiver.  My sister, the mom, possesses grit in such high capacity it amazes me.  Her daughter is learning from her the value of hard work, the value of delayed gratification, and the value of working together to expand choice.

And this learning does not end when the dictionary is closed each evening and the note cards are filed.

Oh sure, my niece gets annoyed.  I mean come on, it’s the summer.

I was amazed by her persistence and the persistence and patience of my sister.  In effect, she is teaching a module on grit through vocabulary training.

Loving parents do this everyday.  The job of parenting requires ample amounts of self-control, stamina, patience, and delayed gratification.

We learn by doing (time-on-task) . . .  no one is more of an advocate of the experiential process than I.

But we also learn by example.  I come from a family of amazing women.  My grandmother, mother, and sister are all very different, but last week I finally discovered their common denominator.

They each possess/ed boundless supplies of grit and they found a way to pass it along to their loved ones. It’s not about the vocabulary test, silly, it is about the skills of grit.

My niece is in great hands.

2015 Update: It is my nephew’s turn this summer, should be a very interesting . . .

2019 Update: They are both adults, and I feel old! 

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.