Abstract:

Mitt Romney in late 2012 was a failed candidate and now is a member of the Senate.  And this week (9-24-19) back in the news as our country grapples with a categorical lack of virtue at the highest levels of government . . .

For us: I implore every reader to “chase after” virtuous actions and not fleeting good feelings.

(This blogpost is edited and updated substantially.)

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This past week (November 2012) I was struck by Mitt Romney’s concession speech.  It reminded me of Al Gore’s in 2000.  Both men sounded authentic, humble, and honest . . . too late to win an election, but not too late to learn a foundational lesson of happiness.

Your circumstances actually play very little part in how happy you feel.  Yes, social scientists with difficult names to pronounce (this time Lyubomirsky) actually conduct research that demonstrates the validity of this phenomenon.  Studies indicate that we often focus on getting the better job, taking the better vacation, buying the better car or the better house, so hopeful that in turn we will derive a permanent boost to our happiness.  As another Republican who successfully became president would say, “Not gonna do it!”

(Chasing after improved circumstances or “winning” are not wholly fruitless, but they hardly factor into our happiness equation.  For example, Donald Trump in 2019 supposedly “wins” all the time but acts and looks miserable all the time.  I am sure we will all gain solace in his likely improved happiness if he loses in 2020.) 

Mitt Romney walks away despondent and frankly crestfallen.  Who wouldn’t be?  After all the effort, all the time, all the ambition, all the money, he did not win.

Rest assured though, Governor Romney (just as Vice President Gore did) has the ability to bounce back, maybe not for another run in 2016, but to focus on other pursuits that speak to his heart.  Perhaps ones that are less “all or nothing” as well . . .

Most importantly, he can now begin a reflection process which will improve his confidence and enhance his positive emotions.  He can clarify a new vision for his life to provide greater meaning and purpose.  He can explore new avenues to commit his time, energy, and passion.  And finally, he has the chance to expand his intellectual, emotional and physical capacity so that he can once again prove that losing is fleeting if we make it so.

So can you!

If you’ve been disappointed or have suffered a setback, sure, lick your wounds, but then get excited to hit the reset button and create new opportunities.  Pick one potential opportunity this week (just one!), one that fosters personal or community growth and understanding, then do it, regardless of how it makes you feel.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.