Abstract:

Just in case you think I favor my niece, here is one from ages ago about the unique strengths of my nephew (who is now 18!).

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I am in Montana for Christmas. My sister and brother-in-law love to ski and they sure as heck picked an amazing place where they can enjoy that crazy sport (too scary for me this year).

Their son (my nephew) reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age.  He is passionate about what he loves, wears his heart on his sleeve, and speaks his mind with a passionate, albeit porous filter.

He is so much fun to be around (from my perspective).

Sometimes though his truthfulness gets him into trouble. If he does not like something he lets you know it regardless of your age or position of “power” or “status” within the group.

Others might argue that he is too much, and that may be true from their perspective.  Perhaps a child should always be compliant, deferential and proper.  However, I do not subscribe to that point of view.

I remember a few years ago when I lived in Boston, my nephew spent a couple of days with me.  He was around 8 years old at the time.  Just a fun weekend with Uncle Marty (my nickname).

I noticed throughout our time together that he failed to say thank you after each meal I paid for, or when I would buy a toy for him, or for each “inappropriate” TV show I let him watch (shh, don’t tell Mom!).

Instead of correcting him and highlighting this behavior, I wanted to observe more before passing judgment. Yes, yet another personal experiment as I am prone to conduct.  But this time in an effort to understand his behavior, not mine.

Then, at the very end of our weekend, as we closed my apartment door, he turned, looked up at me and said, “Uncle Marty, thanks, I had a lot of fun.”  Oh and he meant it.  He cannot fake gratitude and you could feel it.

That made up for all of the obligatory thank you’s I had failed to receive during the previous days.

He is so darn honest on what he perceives to be either positive or negative. My grandmother would say, “The boy calls a spade a spade.”

For some kids, finding that balance between honesty and manners is an arduous learning process.  And yes, for some adult observers there are more stringent measurements of effective manner compliance.

My nephew trips up from time to time, but who learns from always getting it right . . . right?  Perhaps risk averse perfectionists who never really try (and usually suffer as adults).

I love to hang out with a kid not afraid to take a chance with his manners or behavior in an effort to learn and grow, even if he does not realize he is doing just that.

I respect an outlier child who is exploring authenticity in his own way.  I also respect adult outliers!

They make the best friends and clients.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.