Mother and son dancing at her second wedding. Love the mid 1980s haircut!

As my regular readers know, I am not skilled in the art of social media/networking, nor do I want to possess those skills.  In fact, I criticize it often, for it seems like a suboptimal method for communicating with people.  Too many of us use email, texting, and posting as a complaining tool and not a communication tool.  Perhaps it feels safer to criticize, cajole, or complain from afar.

This weekend was a beautiful exception as people celebrated their moms, many of whom passed away a long time ago.

When we are unable to speak to loved ones face to face due to their passing, the clarion call of Facebook posting is a wonderful tool for healing and reflection.  In fact, after reviewing my newsfeed on Mother’s Day, I was struck by the number of posts related to moms who have passed away.  The sincerity of the posts and their raw positive energy were all uplifting and therapeutic.  In fact, it seemed like a form of 21st century prayer.

Especially to this son . . .

My mother died twenty years ago and although Mother’s Day no longer produces sadness, I certainly reflect on her love and commitment on the day.

In my adolescent years we had a wonderful tradition of taking the “moms” (my grandmother, my stepfather’s mother, and my mother) to a fancy restaurant.  My mother and stepfather usually preceded the celebration with a drive in the country, with both elder moms in the back seat chatting away about yesteryear, and invariably my mother in the front seat pleading for a pee break!

I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to glorifying my past and I may even exaggerate the influence of my mother and grandmother.  But is that so bad?  Complaining about the past without an effort at reappraisal causes far greater dysfunction and any possible benefit is questioned by modern research.  And sure my mother and grandmother had foibles . . . they were human after all.  My grandmother’s frenetic pace made it more difficult to have those valuable face-to-face conversations.  My mother’s flare for the dramatic made some conversations with her seem contrived and even inauthentic.

But as time has passed I believe there is nothing to forgive.  Their personalities, like mine and yours, were and are complex and colorful, and that leads to innumerable precious moments.

I love when social media/networking shows us the brighter side of humanity. On Mother’s Day we witness a kind and noble reflection on women who enrich and enriched our lives sometimes in ways only death can reveal.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.