The Kinetic Blog

May 26th, 2014

The Strength of a Grandfather

Poppy Al a few weeks before he passed away on May 29, 1983.

Last week I took a break from blogging as I  visited family in Boston.  I watched my nephew compete in a track meet and my niece play in a barn-burner of a lacrosse match among many other fun family activities.

When I visit family I get nostalgic.  Heck, when I am alone I get nostalgic.

And since today is Memorial Day I would like to remember a member of my family who passed away decades ago.  In fact, shockingly, in over 120 blogs, I have never mentioned him to my readers.

And full disclosure, I am cheating here . . . this man never served in a war, he was too old for WW2 and just born during WW1.  Thankfully, no one in my family has ever died serving our country, although many have served.  For those of you who have suffered that kind of loss, I hope you find some solace in these words about my grandfather.

Now we all know about my grandmother.  She was the larger than life and incredibly popular, kind, and patient woman who helped to raise a difficult and precocious grandchild . . . me!

Well for my first 13 years she had a lot of help.  His style was very different, more introverted and cerebral, but equally as effective.  My grandfather, her husband, had tons of free time since he retired when I was just a little boy.  He spent 35 years working for The Ford Motor Company, or “Fords” as everyone in my family called it.  The man hated his job.

Self-help books preach about finding our “passion”.  But they often miss the nuance (nuance is not sexy and I imagine does not sell books).  Our passion is not exclusive to employment.  It can and should involve family, friends, hobbies, spiritual and/or volunteer activities.

My grandfather chose to make his family his passion, and particularly his children and grandchildren.

Because he retired so young he was my mother’s go to person when my sister or I were sick and had to stay home from school.  Now I bored very easily, even when ill (or feigning illness), and with only four TV stations to chose from in the 1970s, caregivers had to get creative very quickly.

He told the most amazing stories, most of them very tall tales.  Of course I was a gullible boy, and so I believed every word.  My poppy (that’s what we called him) was also a gifted gamesmith.  He created these elaborate games and challenges involving objects and obstacles from throughout the house.  The rules were complex and frankly quite variable.  But I did not seem to care because it was fun . . . he was fun.

My Poppy Al died 31 years ago this week.  He came home from church, took a nap, and never woke up.

My grandfather taught me that I am not the center of the universe (still learning that one), he taught me the power of “trying”, and he taught me that getting angry and sad are as part of life as laughing and loving.

Most of all he taught me that passion is a worthy pursuit but to pursue it with an open mind as to where we will find it.

It’s sad how we all have a tendency to glorify people in death and vilify people in life.  Do not even get me started on how we vilify ourselves for each minor misstep, error, and perceived weakness.

My grandfather instinctively “crowded out” his weaknesses by playing to his strengths.  And that helped him discover his passion.

If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.

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