I love a sci-fi flick, and I was not disappointed this past weekend when I watched Tom Cruise in his new movie entitled Edge of Tomorrow.

I promise I will not give away any details here that would spoil the movie for you.  Suffice it to say that, like life, the movie has many twists and turns.  But unlike life, in the movie all of these take place within one very long repeated day.  In fact, the day cannot end until the ultimate goal is either successfully accomplished or devastatingly unrealized.

So many coaching parallels!

And the best one:  The main character would have failed without his uncanny ability repeatedly to ask for help, and accept that the act of asking might seem a little odd each time he did it.  He was engaged in a do or die scenario with a do and try mindset.

Here is how he tried it and how we all can try it . . .

Identify the Goal with Help

At first Cruise is frustrated that he cannot remove himself from this space-time anomaly swiftly, easily, and alone.   The real problem lies, first, in the fact that he is clueless as to the direction he wants to take.  In addition to lacking direction, he does not have the facts required to make a sound judgment as to the proper course of action.  But fear not, he gets help from an associate (of course, gorgeous and blonde!).  She helps him to realize clarity around the goal and she helps him break it down into tiny action steps.

So many of us are afraid to set goals because of a crippling fear of failure.  And if we overcome this fear, we rarely share the goals with colleagues, friends, or a coach out of an additional two fears . . . disapproval or disappointment.

Share and we have a much greater likelihood of creating goals that will increase our likelihood of success and happiness.  Plus when we share our unknown with others we show a vulnerability that is both attractive and motivating to everyone.

Small Steps and The Big Picture

It is laudable that Cruise accepts he must practice to become efficient at climbing the steps to goal achievement.  However, the act of continuous practice soon creates the “stuck in the weeds” sensation many of us feel when we set our sights high.  Focusing like a laser often produces myopia.

Again the protagonist finds comfort and guidance from his bombshell confidant.  She helps him to keep the big picture in clear view.  He also acknowledges and accepts that sometimes the big picture requires difficult choices, many at serious odds with one another.  Only together could this duo mitigate the costs of achieving the lofty goal.

How many times in our lives have we wanted something but the costs were too great to bear?  Bringing in help before we back off allows us to explore options unrecognized by us alone.  The other people we trust make it difficult for the three fears to paralyze us out of action.

The Facts are Not Always Clear

For much of the movie Cruise thinks he has all the facts required to reach his goal.  However, there is a twist.  The path that he painstakingly pursues must be abandoned and a new one forged.  This causes great pain and anguish.  However, he soon realizes that a new plan can work, but only if additional trusted friends are made aware of the bizarre circumstances.

In our real lives there are innumerable twists and turns on our multi-day journey to success.  How many times have we isolated ourselves when faced with a major life challenge?  How do we train ourselves to do the opposite?

I would argue that one reliable method to combat this powerful isolation inclination is to believe that goal achievement is only worth it if it is shared.  The sharing is what makes the steps engaging, meaningful, and fruitful.  The process is rarely fun when done alone.

When we frame something as “do or die” we have the tendency to either balk for fear of “death/failure” or we get so caught up in the doing that we forget to ask for help.  Instead, think about challenges as do and try.  The trying means we are open to help, open to guidance, and open to the inherent experimentation that is mandatory if goals are to be realized.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.