Kinetic Coaching | Coaching is Right for You If . . . You Are Not Depressed, Too Busy, or Into Instant Gratification

January 2nd, 2020

Coaching is Right for You If . . . You Are Not Depressed, Too Busy, or Into Instant Gratification

(audio version available at the end of this blog)

I love a multi-part blog series. Over the next several weeks I will discuss real-life scenarios where hiring a coach may make the difference between success and failure.

But before I jump right in, let’s start with when it is unwise to hire a coach.

It may be unwise to hire a coach if you are depressed . . .

Let’s be crystal clear here. If you are ready for action then whatever your diagnosis you are ready for coaching. Coaching is about action, experimentation, planning, and executing. People who are diagnosed with depression, may in fact, be ready, and that can be determined early on between coach and client.

However, there are times in many people’s lives when action is the last thing on their minds. For example, several years ago, following a sad breakup, I suffered a serious bout of depression that was emotionally, and at times, physically debilitating. I was in no condition to act on anything, yet. I needed time to assess, process, understand, and heal.

A qualified therapist is excellent in these situations. This is not to argue that coaches never help clients assess and heal from past trauma. It’s just not the focus of our process. It’s the classic 80:20 rule. Coaching is about 80% the here and now and the future, and about 20% the past. Therapy is usually the opposite, 80% the past, and 20% the here and now.

It may be unwise to hire a coach if you are “too busy” . . .

If you are not willing to put in the time each week/biweekly/monthly to meet with your coach it is probably best to postpone starting the process. And great coaching is a process. The regular meetings create the momentum for change and action. Clients who habitually cancel appointments are often not ready.

Now there is absolutely no scientific evidence to indicate how frequently coaching sessions should take place. However, sticking to your personal commitment is best for you and best for your coach. So discuss the session schedule during your first meeting.

I have let many clients go who are not ready to commit. I put “too busy” in quotes above because it becomes the standard excuse. I have clients who run multi-million dollar companies with innumerable commitments who find the time and the value in coaching. I am not too busy for them nor are they for me, if they are ready.

And if “too busy” is just an excuse, it’s a classic catch-22, since coaches cannot help clients uncover the actual reason(s) for a frenetic schedule without regular contact with the client.

It may be unwise to hire a coach if you want a quick fix . . .

This one is tricky since sometimes clients have a very specific request. Several times I have been asked to help a client deal with one specific difficult negotiation or job issue. When it is resolved they move on. That is fair.

Other times a client who has spent 5 years or more in a job they despise asks to figure out what is next for their life in four sessions or less. This is just not going to happen 95 percent of the time. Often, this sense of urgency is not just about job hatred. Instead, it may be a financial matter. I urge coaches to uncover the hidden financial fear.

I have never refused a client for an inability to pay, only for an inability to engage in the process. I work with my clients to establish a payment plan, for it “smoothes” out my income and creates goodwill and trust.

In the coming weeks I will blog about those people ready for coaching. One of them may be you. Just remember though, if you are depressed and unwilling to act, “too busy”, or not ready to make a bonafide commitment, coaching is probably not right for you . . . right now.

The Kinetic Blog

Coaching is Right for You If . . . You Are Not Depressed, Too Busy, or Into Instant Gratification