(audio version available at the end of this post)

Our perception of reality determines so many of our life and career choices.

Take for instance our perception of stress.  In a groundbreaking book entitled The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal (if you prefer watching over reading check out her TED Talk) argues that stress is debilitating only to those who perceive it as bad.

McGonigal brilliantly explores the power of our mindsets, and advocates for a positive mindset surrounding stress and how this is critical to a successful life in the 21st century. Her definition is simple: “Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake.” So stop worrying about caring.

Three Burnout Postures

But can we care too much? And to what extent can this caring too much phenomenon lead to burnout?  By burnout I mean chronic stress that builds to levels we no longer believe we have the capacity to process and from which to learn.

Oh this is a minefield McGonigal might be saving for her next book.  Let me take a crack at it now by sharing some of my own experiences with three postures that likely transform stress into burnout.  Next week I will introduce you to a fourth, perhaps the most insidious of them all.

For now let’s review these postures and note that each is our early warning system.  A system to keep our stress from transforming into massive burnout.

1. I am here to help you . . . stress!

If we fail to find time to assess why we care so much about a person, job, or cause then stress may cause burnout.  In my 30s I spent a lot of time helping my ex navigate his life.  He became, instead of a partner, a cause, much to the detriment of my health and well-being, and his too!  We both stunted each other’s learning and growth.

2. I will do it all by myself because I am special . . . stress!

If we are always planning on how to take advantage of every opportunity, relationship, and situation then stress may cause burnout.  I continue to struggle with this one.  “Just because you can does not mean you should.”  Prudent advice I learned from my coach. In other words, choose wisely.  Make sure to build partnerships and to forge alliances not just because it is personally or professionally expedient, but because it makes life more meaningful.

3. I am so angry I cannot think straight . . . stress! 

If we fail to reflect on why we have a passionate desire to confront an injustice then stress may cause burnout.  This passion may create fury.  And I was furious when George W. Bush wanted to change the Constitution in an effort to codify second class citizenship for the LGBT community.  My enmity towards one man masked my own inner insecurities and uncertainties about my sexuality (and my country).  Instead of expansively looking inward and outward for answers, I let my anger dominate my decision-making process as I moved to Europe in an escapist attempt to assuage my rage.  Trust me, I felt worse.

So go ahead stress yourself this week, and simultaneously play around with shifting your mindset.  Heck, it may or may not cause some burnout.  If it does examine your relationship with the three burnout postures.  Regardless of what happens you will learn a ton about you and how you approach the things and people you care most about.

—

If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.