Denise, my first coach

Recently my very first Life Coach celebrated her birthday.  So I wrote to her to wish her the best day possible and to remind her how much she helped me to transform my life and my business.

The purpose of our sessions back then was ostensibly to work on building my own coaching practice.  However, we soon realized that before I went about building yet another small business for myself, some personal life building was required.

In a recent New York Times article it was argued that there are two types of coaches: Executive/Leadership Coaches and Life Coaches.  That is true. However, it is a false dichotomy.  False if you want to hire an effective coach because the best are both Leadership and Life Coaches.

These successful coaches buck the specialist trend in order to help their clients explore the critical intersection between personal and professional growth.  You cannot divorce the personal from the professional and then expect successful results in either category.

And a great coach rarely lets a client get away with self-pity, distraction, or obfuscation.  Trust me, I suffered from all three of these client maladies when I began my first foray into the coach-client professional relationship.

Let me get more specific.  Here is how my first coach was invaluable to me . . .

She allowed me to “success reminisce”.

– BUT then she encouraged me to draw deep and meaningful life and business lessons from those endeavors so that I could use them to build a coaching business on a firm foundation designed for success.

She allowed me to feel the pain of failure.

– BUT then she helped me to understand how that pain could be used as a wake up call, waking me up to the possibility that the failures created an enormous number of new opportunities, both business and personal.  Plus let’s face it, who learns very much from success?

She allowed me to imagine and dream.

– BUT then she dissected my dreams to help me to imagine how my life could change if I started to live and act in the present to make them happen.  She helped me to formulate a plan that required taking small steps toward my new goal.  If I wanted to create something new, it was time to dream and to build.

And then I got to work.

I mended personal relationships with those I loved and still love, namely my sister.  I let go of a few personal and professional relationships, some once grounded in deep love, knowing that both relationship building and relationship ending are never zero-sum games.  I built a coaching firm with two partners, partners who thankfully disagree with me as often as they agree with me.  I also experimented with the kind of personal life that works for me, one with a few close family members and friends, many other fun friends and associates, and a life partner who makes my knees buckle as much for his cunning mind as for his cute smile.

The best coach you can hire in 2014 is one who allows you to be you.  But then this same coach compassionately helps you take the necessary steps to become a better version of you, a version with a vision for the future, with a purpose that makes that vision possible, and with a spirit of optimistic realism steeped in the belief that the best outcome you can ever hope for is the one where the ride is as much fun as the destination, especially when shared openly with others.

If you want to have a transformative personal and professional life experience in 2014, then consider hiring a coach.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.