Happy Scott

I am in a bad mood!

When I am in funk I turn to a container filled with about 15 slips of paper, each one highlighting a healthy activity that makes me happy.

This is how it works:  I close my eyes and pull out three slips and then choose the one I want to do.  Well, “blog” was one of my choices.

So here is my stream of consciousness blog about why I am in a bad mood.

It’s my birthday!   Forty-three years ago my mother began to give birth to me before she ever made it to the delivery room.  She used to tell this birth story to friends:  “Scott just popped right out,” and she would laugh and exclaim, “easy to birth, challenging to raise!”

The way I see it:  Well, I was in a rush, had things to do, businesses to start, degrees to obtain . . . 

Honestly, I have never enjoyed my own birthday.  I used to cry when the birthday song was sung to me as a boy.  As an adult I do not understand the point of celebrating something I had no part in making happen.

I am laughing out loud right now!

Yet, I am acutely aware of the importance of celebration.  It is a critical part of well-being.

Think about how much time we spend beating ourselves up for misspoken words and poorly planned actions.  Then think about how often we celebrate our accomplishments?  I bet it’s a lopsided win for the missteps for most people.

But you see, not for me.

I get it.  I have worked very hard over the past 15 years to flip that trend.  I savor moments of joy, gratitude, achievement and inner peace all the time.  And no one is a bigger fan of me, than me.

So what the heck I am doing wrong here.  Hmmm.

I know the answer is not simple, but I believe it is worth investigating.

For sure it is much more complex than vanity (which I have in great supply).  Fear of aging does not explain why at five I hated turning six.

Shunning the spotlight may be why some of us hate birthdays, but that is a laughable possibility if you know anything about me.

One of my favorite happiness researchers is Sonja Lyubomirsky and in her new book she offers us a choice.  “You can continue to be tormented by your thoughts and hope that they will fade with time, or you can strive to understand their source and act to resolve or attenuate them.”

In short, deal with it now!

I am ready.  Here are the possibilities.

1. Perhaps the reason I hated birthdays as a boy is not the same reason I do not enjoy them as an adult, making it more difficult to understand.

2. Perhaps I feel badly now because my family put so much effort into making the day fun for me then and I did not appreciate it at the time.

3. Perhaps it’s ok to be sad on my birthday . . . “it’s my party I can cry if I want to.”

4. Perhaps I miss people who have passed or who live far away because I want to share the day with them.

5. Perhaps I think I will lose my youthful spirit as I age.

6. Perhaps I am afraid to die.

7. Perhaps I feel so much better now that I have written this blog.  Answers allude me, but I have many questions to explore.

Thanks so much for the indulgence.

And btw, if you are feeling low, try creating your own list of healthy activities that you can fall back on when times get tough.

Be creative . . . do something fun!

—

If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.