Creating a successful coaching practice is more than just about passion.

It is also more than about “putting it out in the universe,” an expression I despise for its ignorant and unscientific belief in just believing.  Hard and smart work are additional requirements.

If I define success as goal achievement (in this case becoming a full-time coach) while enjoying the goal achievement process, then coaches must possess an ample supply of the following four attributes.  The good news is that these attributes, if not natural, can be learned and practiced.

More Curious, Less Judgmental

Judgmental people make lousy coaches for one primary reason.  They often assume that what works for them will work for everyone.  We know these people when we hear them with all their “helpful” advice. “I started this diet so try it to lose weight.”  “I use this vendor so use him/her and your problems will be solved.”  “Hire an assistant just like mine and you will be happy.”

If clients just want advice they are better off asking a friend, it’s cheaper and probably just as helpful.  If you want to create a life where you can make decisions that maximize your chances for success then hire a successful coach to learn these skills and processes.

Coaches are curious enough to hear about client challenges and action oriented enough to teach and discuss methods for overcoming these challenges in a spirit of helpful experimentation.

More About the Here and Now, Less about Yesteryear

If we dig deep enough we can blame or credit our moms and dads for just about every decision, both poor and wise, that we have ever made in our lives.  If my mom and dad were alive today, and they were to give me one piece of advice, I know exactly what they would say (“Be happy,” from Mom, “Just relax,” from Dad).  This does not mean, however, that I am destined to live by their values or through their words of wisdom.  The decisions we have made that have led us to where we are today are our responsibility alone.

The same holds true for our clients.  What anyone decides to do with their reality is an act of responsibility.

Coaches encourage clients to discover the contemporary causes for both their failures and their successes.  We teach clients to see the immense gray area between right and wrong, between smart and dumb, between wise and unwise, and between success and failure.

More About Trying, Less about Talking

Talking through an issue is vital to learning appropriate lessons.  Effective coaches though, emphasize the power of doing, and of trying.  We cannot learn without evidence, and the evidence gathering takes place between coaching sessions.

If a client is unsure whether a particular course of action will help grow their business for example, an excellent coach will help the client devise a strategy to “beta test” the idea(s).  Dipping our feet into the pond is often better than staying onshore or diving right in.

And finally, a superior coach is not afraid to witness a client fail if that failure moves the client in a better direction.

More about Options, Less about Conclusions

I am most happy as a coach when I help my clients draw their own conclusions while simultaneously revealing several options never considered.

The weeds are tall for small business owners.  A smart coach helps the client cut them down long enough to discover the advantages of, for example, hiring new people, expanding into new markets, forging powerful partnerships, or outsmarting competitors.

Here is where you must let go of your ego:  These moments may happen between sessions when a client has an “a-ha” moment inspired by your coaching.  And yes, this same client may take complete credit for their realization.

Get over yourself, that is still great coaching.  Divorcing your self from a client’s experience is one of the most breathtakingly peaceful moments I have each week.  Imagine, a great coach stays out of his own head 20-30 hours a week.  It’s meditative for me, and it’s priceless for my clients.

So stay curious even with our human inclination to judge and to solve.  Remember to keep the client from the parental/partner/friend/world blame game and instead encourage trying and experimentation.  Finally check your ego at the door and stop worrying about “breakthroughs” during coaching sessions.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.