This past week I taught a Success U class on “Negative Life Experiences.”

As part of the class I asked the students to be aware of their bizarro behaviors.  My use of the word bizarro comes from my love of superheroes (and Seinfeld, since they poked fun of the idea in a classic episode).  It means the opposite of our essence.  Superman is good so bizarro Superman is bad.

Our take on bizarro is more nuanced.  It means be aware of when you are engaging in activities or behaviors to cope with uncomfortable emotions.  These emotions may be due to events in your past, or your current situation.  We teach our students to be aware of these potentially negative behaviors, then ask themselves why they are engaging in those behaviors, and then explore the connection between emotional triggers and their behaviors.

Here are just a few potentially “bizarro consumption” categories to be aware of as you live your life:

Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, unhealthy food, shopping, TV and loveless sex.

For example, drinking alcohol is not always a bizarro behavior if it is not about avoidance/coping with uncomfortable emotions.  Resist the temptation to judge whether it is good or bad.  Get to the “why.”

I have a list of customized bizarro behaviors I keep track of week to week.

I will be frank here even though my nieces and nephews read my blog.  My list is short.  My default bizarro behavior is loveless sex (sex without being open to the potential of a more intimate connection) .

But like with many things, I have a tendency to take this bizarro concept too far.  Lately I am so cautious about my list that I avoid anything that I think might slide me into bizarro-land.

Instead of existing in a “be aware” zone so I can make comparisons and formulate sound inferences about my life, I have instead slowly moved into a “beware” zone.

This is not good living or good science for me . . . too much fear shuts down my capacity for healthy introspection.

(Obviously if you are dealing with addiction, avoiding your consumption bizarro default is critical, so too is seeking out a qualified therapist to help you.)

However, how can I understand some of my fears around romantic intimacy if I do not get out there and explore all that dating has to offer?

Remember we are human, so that means enjoy exploring and ultimately reconciling the part of you that is sometimes bizarro with the part of you that is mostly non-bizarro.  Understanding this relationship will increase your likelihood of success and happiness.

And be kind to yourself along the way (I say that for me as much as for you).

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.