(audio version available at the end of this blog)

Success U students are learning that no matter how prepared they are to traverse the success path, they are also capable of significant self-sabotage along the way.

So this past week, in effort to recognize the complexity of success, success defined as goal achievement that increases our emotional and physical wellbeing without the crippling cycle of burnout along the way, I introduced the concept of our Bizarro World.

And why “bizarro”?  I loved the Justice League growing up (aka, The Superfriends, like Batman, Superman, Wonderwoman et al.).  These are the super heroes who protect and serve humankind.  The Bizarro League comprises all of their archrivals, bent on destroying their noble efforts.

In the real world these bizarro impulses sabotage our own success efforts (without the bad guys and form-fitting brightly colored outfits).

(Some words of caution:  The elements of our Bizarro World are not addictions, so if after reading this blog you suspect that yours might be, please seek out professional help.)

Let’s explore the five elements of our Bizarro World.

The Five Elements of Our Bizarro World

The first element is called Plenty.  Plenty is about those things we do in excess to avoid difficult decisions or to avoid feeling sad or angry.  For example, in my life I have used sex as a way to deaden the pain of past heartache and suffering.  What is your “go to” plenty that “helps” you when confronted with life’s challenges?

The second category is called Escape.  Escape is about hiding out somewhere far (figuratively or literally) from home to avoid the difficulties we face.  My mother used to quote a song she loved when warning me of my desire to “get away from it all”.  She would say, “Remember, you can travel 10,000 miles and still stay where you are.”  And you will remain where you are, if the purpose of the “trip” is to avoid a decision or painful process.

Let’s examine all of those Rotten Relationships, our third element.   We are not just talking about the “Debbie Downers’ in our lives.  Those people are relatively easy to identify and we can either reduce our exposure to them or cut them out altogether if we are allowing them to prevent us from living a successful life.

No, the harder part involves those people who are “fun” but who actually tempt us to live in their Bizzaro World.  It is best to reduce or remove them from our lives as well.

Done, right?  Nope.

The hardest part is recognizing that we may be the people who are doing the tempting.  We all are, or have been at times, a conduit for others to experience our own bizarro. Misery and the Bizarro World love company.  What can we learn from this realization?

Next we explore the fourth element called Mammon.  More money is so often the perceived panacea of all of our ills.  No matter how much research is cited that debunks the “more is always better” myth, many of us choose to disregard or ignore the evidence.  Greater financial resources undoubtedly provide more options if not more happiness, but increased options can be confusing and anxiety producing (and can lead to bizarro activities).

The final element is called Anti-Achievement.  The absence and/or the avoidance of goals is how so many of us anesthetize ourselves to failure.  It is impossible to fail if we do not compete in the arena.  We fail though because we fail to try.  Success is not a point in time, it is, thankfully, a never-ending process of experimentation and reflection as we grow and learn.

And if we embrace this experimental ethic we increasingly leave the five elements of the Bizarro World behind forever, as we take greater responsibility for own success without falsely blaming others.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.