(audio version available at the end of this post)

Clients ask the following question all the time: Should I stay (in my current job, city, relationship, etc.) or should I go?

Change!  Scary for most of us. Creating a method to help us decide when to move on is incredibly useful and reduces the fear of making mistakes.

You might argue that as long as you are running toward something exciting and not scurrying away from something painful, then “going” is probably worth it.

If only life were that simple.  Face it, usually the “toward” and the “away” are both in play.

No, life is messy, but guess what?  I created a simple equation to help everyone make better change decisions.

A Story

First, allow me to share a story . . .

In 2009 I wanted to move away from Boston to start something new, somewhere new. Boston has been my home (or part-time home) for two stints, 1999-2005 and 2007-2010.

Timing is critical, so I wanted to make this decision thoughtfully.  I was unsure if my inclination to leave was mostly about running away after a sad relationship breakup.

In short, I needed to check my gut. Even though “intuition” is all the rage, trust me, our guts deceive us more than we think.

So I created a mathematical equation that I still use to this day (in modified form . . . always refining). I call it the Change Equation.  It helps me (and now my clients) evaluate when change should happen and for the right reasons.

The Change Equation

Present (perceived) COSTS + Future (perceived) OPPORTUNITIES

---

Present (perceived) BENEFITS + Past (perceived) INVESTMENTS

Costs = The costs of staying (in the job, the city, the relationship, etc.).

Opportunities = What else could you be doing (or where else or with whom)?

Benefits = The benefits for staying the course.

Investments = The ones that got you to the present course.

And it spells COBI, gosh I love an acronym!

Now there are all kinds of revealing questions I asked myself then (and ask my clients now) to determine a “score” or value for each of the COBI variables.

For me it was a “contest” between the present, my Boston life and job, vs. the potential future, a new city life and job.

When the final score is 2.0 or above (that is, the numerator variables are scored much higher than the denominator variables), then change is probably more about diving into a new challenge and less about escapism.

My score in 2009 was about 0.5, so I determined that my desire to leave was still too much about running away and not enough about running toward.

Things shifted in 2010, the job I had became increasingly dissatisfying and I began to think of new possibilities/opportunities for employment (this is when I got the idea to start a coaching business, thanks to a former student’s fantastic analysis of my skills).  It was then I decided to leave, the rest was just logistics. (My score was 3.2 for all those math dorks out there).

In short, my perceived opportunities for the future were solidifying as my perceived benefits for staying in my Boston job were considerably discounted.  Not surprisingly, the two often go hand-in-hand.  I also felt like my past investments (i.e. the relationships I forged while in Boston) were no longer enough to keep me in place.

DC bound as a coach!

My Change Equation is more than a cost-benefit analysis.  It is based on the three temporal realms we all live in, past, present, and future and how each is connected all the time.  And most importantly, it acknowledges that the process of deciding what is the best course of action is based upon our perception of reality.

Life is complex but not inexplicable. Just slow down . . . and the Change Equation helps us make deliberate, thoughtful, and better decisions.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.