(audio version available at the end of this blog)

In this new blog series we have already surveyed a variety of reasons why coaching may be the right choice for your personal and professional life.  This latest reason is the most controversial.

The research on goals is mixed (not shocking since we are talking about the social sciences).  On the one hand we are advised to focus like a laser on our goals, and on the other to resist the 21^st century temptation to obsess about desires.  Perhaps we should all just live life with flexible ethic and savor every moment.

Unfortunately, the focus vs. flexible camps (achievers vs. anti-achievers) misunderstand the very nature of choice, and in the process throw away the good with the bad.    In fact, the choice of “not having goals” is still a goal.  So if you are the type of person who knows exactly where you want to be next year.  Great!  And if you are the type of person who never wants to know where you are going to be next year.  Great!

As a coach, I do not care.

But I will not coach a client if their goals will not increase their emotional and physical well-being while they are engaged in the process of achievement or anti-achievement.  Kinetic Coaching’s process acknowledges and incorporates lessons from both camps.

Here’s how we do it  . . .

1. Goals must be harmonious:

Whether you are an avid achiever or a blissful anti-achiever, your goal/desire must be harmonious with the other goals/desires you have for your life.

I coach a lot of entrepreneurs and small business owners who have the simultaneous goal of growing or starting a scalable business and growing or starting a flourishing family.  Probably not going to happen, in the short-term.  So these goals are not necessarily harmonious.

Any time we make a choice we create constraints and opportunities. An effective coach helps clients to reduce constraints and to maximize opportunities by supporting them as they craft goals that are as harmonious as possible.

2. Goals must be authentic:

Think about your top three goals.  Now choose number one.  Is it yours or prescribed to you by a loved one, a colleague, or a family member?

If it is not yours then it is not authentic to you.  However, even if this goal is yours we must assess if it is in alignment with your core values.  Determining those values while guided by a coach is one of the most powerful and effective activities you can undertake in your entire life.

Once we filter our decisions through our core values we get more of what we want when we want it.

3. Goals must be practice-driven:

Coaching is about exploration.  Your life, when truly lived to its potential, is your own grand science experiment.  You are the subject, and what you choose to do, and what you choose not to do, affects you and everyone around you.

So we eradicate the scourge of perfectionism by embodying an experimental ethos.  We explore the efficacy of possible courses of action within our coaching sessions and then we creatively engage with these in between sessions.  All the while we are gathering valuable data about us and our choices.

4. Goals must be precise:

As precise as possible that is.  Once you create benchmarks that are measurable then your goals have a way of incentivizing you to action.  And if you make things precise while practicing, even better!

For example, instead of the typical goal of losing ten pounds (precise but not practice-driven), try this goal:  Walk for 30 minutes each day and reduce drinking your calories for one month (both precise and practice-driven).

5. Goals must be yielding:

Control is quite illusory.  We have so much less of it than we think.  When we obsess about control we 1) reduce the likelihood we will enjoy the process of goal achievement and 2) alienate the people we care about.

Those of us who are yielding acknowledge that life is often seized in a series of opportune moments, many of which are not predictable.  This is a youthful spirit, one grounded in learning and growing, much like a child in the early stages of walking, talking, reading, or writing.

This entire construct for effective goal achievement or anti-achievement spells HAPPY.  Happiness, however, is not a constant and our final lesson might be a hard pill to swallow.

We cannot expect every goal to completely maximize harmony, authenticity, the spirit of practice, precision, and a yielding worldview.  What we can expect is to optimize each, as we formulate goals with our coach that make our lives extraordinary.

And at Kinetic we love assessments, so we have an amazing one to make sure your goals are as HAPPY as possible.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.