(audio version available at the end of this blog)

One of my clients recently noted that so far this blog series highlights two moments in our lives when coaching may provide a significant benefit: when we want to start or when we want to end something (a job, a project, a relationship, etc.).  But what about people in the middle of something, could they too benefit from coaching?

In a sense we are always in the middle of . . . it, whatever it may be, and it is at those times that coaching becomes so valuable.  So we should hire a coach all the time . . . what a self-serving conclusion!

Seriously, the best coaches offer their perspective during these potentially frenetic times.  Perspective requires coaches to wear three “hats” as we help our clients succeed.  Make sure you and your coach understand the value of all three.

Hat #1: Coach as Coach

It is challenging for clients to maintain a big-picture mindset when facing the day-to-day responsibilities of work and home.  A great coach helps them prioritize the steps it takes to realize their larger objectives (ideally while increasing well-being in the process).  Coaches use the Socratic Method, asking provocative questions that require careful analysis if answered properly.

These answers have the potential to keep clients focused on the horizon.  Beyond questions though, an effective coach must develop the ability to succinctly and accurately package a client’s own conclusions into action items so goals are met.  Less talking, more doing.

As one of my client’s always tells me, you gotta put a bow on it.

Hat # 2: Coach as Advisor 

Sometimes, and more often than you think, a client is incapable, in the moment, to figure “it” out just by answering your questions.  There are no thoughtful responses in the moment.  And however you try to package their incomplete analysis, well, they are not buying it.

You must sometimes break the golden rule of coaching schools: Never Advise.

In the real world great coaches know when to advise, and we get paid a lot to do just that.

When clients are in the trenches working on a project or creating innovative programs for their customers, they are often faced with critical decision moments, moments that require analytical and detached analysis impossible for most people who are incredibly invested in the outcome in that moment.

Often I have sessions with clients where we work together to avoid bad decisions and thereby prevent irreparable harm to the clients’ interests. Sure we hope our clients will anticipate every angle, every possible opportunity, and every conceivable pitfall after we lead them down the path of inquisitive inquiry.  But clients do not hire us for hope or for our ability to frame an excellent question; they hire us to help them reach their goals.

Advising requires a coach to take a stand, and we may get it wrong (or more accurately, more wrong than more right).  The good news is, both client and coach learn a ton regardless.

Hat #3:  Coaches as Therapists

I am entering a minefield, but here it goes.

For legal reasons we never want to pretend to practice therapy on clients.  In fact, a client is not a client if they require therapy  . . . they are hopefully a future patient of a therapist and coaches are not licensed to see patients.

However, coaching is about nuance so let’s offer some nuance.  Therapy is not a universal concept or profession, there are dozen of popular specialties (check out http://www.goodtherapy.org/types-of-therapy.html), many of which share techniques and practices that have produced better results than others.

So what happens if we have a client who is highly functional but they would benefit from certain therapeutic techniques that do not require special qualifications?

Check out this scenario:  A client is stressed because they are in the middle of completing a deadline, and the stress produces thoughts that seem to sabotage their likely success.  I would spend time working with them challenging the efficacy and validity of those thoughts.  Guess what, that’s an element of cognitive therapy.  It’s simplistic, highly effective, and smart coaches use it all the time to get a client out of their heads and back into the game.

So refer the client to a therapist only when the client appears chronically stuck with dysfunctional thoughts, and/or those thoughts appear to overwhelm them, and/or those thoughts prevent positive actions in the mid to long term.

And finally, if a client is obsessed with negative psychobiography, that is attributing all of their present failures on past actions or on people from their past, it is always best to refer them out. (Full disclosure, I love the term psychobiography, and I have only ever seen it used by leadership expert Warren Bennis, RIP).

A coach wears many hats.  For my readers who love numbers, a coach worth their hourly rate spends about 60% of the time coaching, and 40% advising and/or utilizing acceptable therapeutic techniques.

Our goal remains the same however: Help clients succeed by achieving their goals while simultaneously improving their emotional and physical well-being.

Now that requires a whole lot of nuance and an extensive wardrobe of colorful head gear.

—

If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.