Recently my partner and I took a weekend trip to Philadelphia.  It was the city of my college years, so as we walked the streets the memories that stirred in my mind were profound.

They actually gave me goose bumps!

My Philly video store . . . same sign from the 80s but now selling antiques, how appropriate!

As readers of my blog are acutely aware I love to share stories from my past to demonstrate lessons we can all learn from our present.

Sometimes though, instead of informing and adding needed texture to our current circumstances, I feel, at times, that I and others are guilty of letting the past control our present.

Now do not misunderstand me, I had a marvelous time in Philly.  But as I took my partner on the Scott Sullivan Tour of the Late 1980s, it started to seem a little pathetic.  Instead of building robust and interesting new memories with him I was awfully busy showing him the way it was back then.

It really hit home as we sat on a bench in Rittenhouse Square, a place where, 25 years ago, I used to daydream afternoons away.  As we people watched, we noticed three older men chatting on the adjacent bench.

Now they seemed entirely stuck in the past . . . retelling stories from yesteryear, many of which I am sure were embellished.  There was this real sense that they were glorifying what once was, as we all do from time to time.

So enough glorifying . . . Here is a more comprehensive view of my college years.

I was a poor college student. I was studying impractical subjects that did not challenge my brain. I went on awkward dates with women because I was confused about my sexuality.  My hair was “feathered” like Shawn Cassidy, my teeth crooked, and I was as skinny as a rail.

That feels much better.  A more honest and balanced view of what once was for me.

The experts tells us all kinds of things when it comes to the correct balance between past, present and future thinking.  To summarize, spend more time living in the present.

I would argue though that balanced thinking should be sought within each of the three, past, present and future, as much as between the three.

Let’s all stop glorifying and romanticizing our past.   Remind ourselves always that memories are suspect and to seek a more honest and accurate appraisal.

In short, let’s go ahead and share our past life with those we love.  But make sure it does not stop us from sharing and living the best life we can right now with those same people.

—

If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.