I love to coach coaches and aspiring coaches. And the one issue that invariably causes the most consternation (besides “how do I make enough money so I can coach full-time”) is how and when to fire a client?

Now there are three primary reasons why a coach may want to fire a client (I am not including the best reason, your client has met their goals!).  Keep in mind, firing does not have to be contentious (the title of my blogs are often provocative, since I am told it helps “drive traffic” to my posts).

1. They want more than I am willing to give.

Here you must understand your coaching boundaries.  The client, for example, may have unrealistic expectations as to what you are willing to do in the spirit of customer service.  I am sometimes asked to help out in ways that I believe cross the line between being the coach versus the employee of some of my more ambitious and successful clients.

I have had clients try to inject me in the middle of their corporate drama too.  Other times they require a specific skill-set I just do not have.  Instead of telling the client, “Sorry I cannot help you,” I instead use my strength of connecting people.  I find the right person for my client’s needs.  I often set up the first meeting where the three of us discuss the issues and then I leave it to them to work it all out.

Interestingly these clients often come back for coaching or for other “connector” needs.  There is no need to make firing so drama filled.

2. They want/need a therapist just do not know it yet.

Then there is the client who requires therapy and not coaching.  This can difficult to determine.  Here is how I do it.

First, I use The Kinetic Life Analysis to assess my prospective client’s level of career and personal satisfaction.  All of my clients take this assessment.  Within it there are questions that help to determine if a client is suffering from moderate to severe depression.  If it shows up in their result then we discuss it in the complimentary session and I often refer out right then and there.

But clients can sometimes knowingly or unknowingly mislead themselves and their coach by exaggerating their well-being.  Some clients have a low depression “score” yet they are chronically (and maybe clinically) depressed.

So my next step is to determine how often our coaching sessions are going backwards.  I do not mean literally backwards.  I take note of how frequently a client is referring to past events that cause pain and anguish.  If a family member, previous boss, or any other person is being blamed, and this blame is preventing a focus on present goals, then I often will refer these clients to qualified therapists.

I rarely recommend it though during the session the alarm bell goes off in my head.  Instead I think it over carefully between sessions (obviously if you suspect a client might be suicidal you would immediately tell them to call 911).  At the next session I am open about what I have been hearing and ask if the client would consider seeing a therapist.  I listen carefully to my client and make the decision to refer out or continue to coach.

I have clients who come back to coaching after a stint with a therapist.  Recommending the correct form of help is a virtuous act.  You may not be what the client needs, right now.

3. They are not your kind of client.

For me this often means a client is not bought into my method.  I love to coach people who have fascinating goals and are willing to experiment to reach those goals.  I even offer creative homework assignments grounded in science to facilitate this process.  If a client is not feeling my process vibe, then this client is probably not for me and I not for them.

In these situations I recommend my client takes a break from coaching to assess what it is they really want.  I then leave it up to the client to contact me if and when they are ready.  I always remind myself that if my clients are not achieving their coaching goals then my reputation suffers.  Best to have them move on.

It is also my practice to check in with clients after every four sessions.  I ask them point blank, “How is our coaching relationship working for you?”  And then I tell them how it is working for me.

And an important point about money:  If you ever factor $$ into the firing equation your coaching reputation will suffer. Resist the temptation (and we all have it) to keep clients on your docket because they are good payers.  Give them the service they deserve and require even if that means removing yourself from their lives temporarily or permanently.

Firing a client is an act of coaching responsibility.  It is also shows your humanity.  Sometimes we are not right for our clients and they are not right for us.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.