(audio version available at the end of this post)

My mother was a teacher of speech and drama (back when we filled those roles in public schools . . . before our obsession with math and science).

So it is no wonder I notice when people use certain words too often.

These days the word literally is definitely one of them.  But instead of literally criticizing the trend I have found a coaching silver lining, figuratively of course.

It’s About Character

I have been reading  a lot about character over the past year.  It seems to me people of character meet three standards.  Now before I explain those standards let me admit I am dissatisfied with all of the definitions of character out there.  I do not yet have my own, but the three standards we explore below begin my definitional journey.

So for now I hope my readers would agree that character is like pornography (and in only one way), hard to define, but we know it when we see it (to paraphrase a 20th century U.S. Supreme Court Justice).

The Three Character Standards

First, the good news.  Character is built not passed down.  The decisions we make every day determine our character level.  It certainly helps to have excellent role models and they do not necessarily have to share our DNA.

Second, how we interact with other human beings determines our level of character.  I am especially interested in how we treat people with differing capacities and capabilities.  It is amazing how people of character enhance the character building experimentation in others.

Third, the tough news.  People of character seek a literal understanding of their good qualities and strengths, and literally explore the causes of the bad and the ugly about themselves too. Instead of judging their foibles and weaknesses, they evaluate them in an effort to grow and learn from them.  Many times our perceptions of our world and of ourselves are incongruent.  People of character seek self-reconciliation and self-congruence.

Too Fluffy So Far?

Perhaps you require a nitty gritty reason to embark upon a character building enterprise. Well I have never met a person of character who could not acutely assess and understand the motives and motivations of others.  They become masterful at the art of connection.  No doubt that’s because they did their self-work first (and are still doing it).

What I do know is character is not something you have or have not.  There are different levels of character and perhaps a threshold exists that is required to claim we live a life of “it” (Am I foreshadowing yet another Kinetic Coaching assessment?).

Building character is hard work, prone to discomfort, and often complex, but never futile. Start experimenting with each of the three standards.  What can you do this week to build your character, literally?

Or is the correct usage here figuratively?  

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.