Reason #7:  Waiting to be Wooed

This blog series explores ten reasons coaches fail at a full-time career.  Number 7 highlights the importance of asking for what you want.

How often as coaches have we heard: Just put it out into the universe and you will get the clients you want.

Well I am here to remind you that the universe is vast, and you probably do not speak the language of most of the extraterrestrials who might consider hiring you.  A more earthly plan is required.

And if you hate the word selling then frame the process of obtaining new clients as  wooing!

I am serious.  Think of your friends who are in nurturing and successful intimate relationships.  I bet most were bold enough to go after the person they fancied.  As coaches it’s time to woo clients like we would woo a date.  If you wait to be asked you may be asked by all the wrong kinds of people/clients for you.

I recall how I met one of my very first clients at a holiday party.  Back then I focused on health and wellness coaching (a niche obsession, see the 6^th Reason Coaches Fail . . .).  As I spoke to him about fitness I soon realized he was never going to hire me unless I asked.  Just like there are many people who refuse to initiate “the ask” for a first date, many clients are the same way about seeking help from professionals like you.

Here are three steps to open up a client to the potential of coaching and coaching with you.

1. Face the Fear by Sharing

People are afraid to ask for help just as they are afraid to ask for a date; it’s an act of vulnerability and openness many of us fear like the plague.  So I broke (well, chipped perhaps) the ice with my holiday party client.  I discussed typical client challenges with dieting and exercise (while always protecting client confidentiality).  I even discussed my own challenges with vanity obsessions.  In short, I modeled candor and openness.

2. Open Up the Client by Listening

When your potential client decides to open up about the challenges they are facing, listen and ask questions that require deeper and more meaningful answers.  My holiday party client shared his struggles with yo-yo weight loss and weight gain.  Careful . . . do not coach here.  Just identify the problem.

3. Ask The Client Out

If you think this person may be a great client for you, ask him out.  “I coach people who are struggling in similar ways as you [define it succinctly], so how about you come on in for a complimentary session and we can create a plan that helps you reach your goals.  I love clients like you.”  It’s not contrived or fake.  You do love clients like him, else you do not offer your services.  Just like a potential date, you chat for a bit to see if you are compatible.  Then you identify the solution . . . coaching.  It’s up to the potential client to go for it.

You will be rejected many times.  Oh go ahead and reframe rejection as “courage” or “experience building”.  But then get real.   I would rather be rejected face to face than not know if the dozens of potential clients who cross my path each month could have reached their goals by working with me.

If you wait for someone to make the first move you lose your ability to shape your own life and career.  And trust me, our  destinies are largely shaped by us.  So be bold and be experimental, always.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.