Reason #8: Clueless about Coaching Strengths

We are up to the 8^th reason in our blog series that explores why most coaches seem stuck in a part-time vortex.

I spend a lot of time with my clients discussing strengths.  In fact it is my belief, backed by over two generations of scientific research, that living a life laser focused on what we do well makes us more successful and happier than living a life laser focused on “improving weaknesses.”

So I ask my clients, many of whom are coaches, “What are your top five strengths?”

I have never had any client pinpoint more than three of their top five.  And when I guessed my own several years ago as I began studying, researching, and formulating my coaching strategy (I always test my ideas on me first!), well I got just one of five.

And let me be clear here:  I give my clients a huge cheat sheet before asking them to identify their strengths. . . a list of 24 character strengths from which to choose five (click here if you are curious about the VIA Strengths Survey, the best one out there).

Let’s face it, we are pretty unaware of what we are good at.  I would argue we are even more challenged about how to use our strengths once we know what they are.  Inculcating strengths into our daily lives requires a dogged commitment to practice.  But it’s the very best kind, because people who use their strengths are more likely happier, healthier, and goal achievers.

So let me share my VIA Top 5 (in order) and show how I use each one to sustain my full-time coaching career.

I am creative, ingenuous, and original.

I love to find the better option, and perhaps the one never even tried.  And I am faced with client challenges each day.  Unlike many coaches who just ask questions, I offer as many possibilities for a resolution I can think of and then work with a client to narrow down the choices.  I do not believe in a no-win scenario.  Clients get value when we take a stand for them and with them.

I am humorous and playful.

I love to use humor to help lighten the mood of heavy coaching sessions.  When clients are stuck, it is often because they are not allowing themselves to think expansively.  Humor breaks the logjam and opens up our minds to solutions.  Just as important, humor helps me to connect with my clients.  It gives the coaching hour variety, and surprisingly, depth.

I am a critical thinker and open-minded.

I love to imagine all the possibilities for a client.  I resist the human inclination to judge any idea, mine or my clients’, except on the basis of how likely it will contribute to the achievement of a goal.  I am wide open to hearing and exploring the potential upside and downside of any argument.  When we judge we close ourselves off to potential solutions.

I am wise.

This is about the quality of my advice.  If you learned that giving advice is not coaching, you were misled.  Effective coaches do it all the time.  And guess what?  You can be wise at any age.  Experience is not the only prerequisite.  I use this strength when a client does not see, or is unwilling to see, the potential harm or benefit in a strategy.  I often use examples from my own life to make the point.  Yes coaches, you can share your experiences with clients.  I recommend it.

I am socially intelligent.

This strength helps me get to the heart of a client’s challenge in a swift and kind manner.  Coaches are not there to embarrass, cajole, lecture, or dictate.  I want the client to feel at ease in my company.  Relaxed people get things done without regrets and retain a coach who helps to make that happen.

As for my many weaknesses, I just do not care.  In fact my Bottom 5 strengths (numbers 20-24) include among others, modesty (would not blog if I were modest), appreciation of beauty (clueless there for sure), and prudence (would be working for the government if I were prudent).

The good news though is we can improve low ranking strengths (euphemism for weaknesses) on our list by using one or more of our Top 5.  Years ago social intelligence was near the bottom of my list.  I used my strength of creativity to help climb it up my strength ladder (a story for another time).

Focus on your strengths to build the business you want, to make the income you want, to coach the clients you want, and to make the difference you want to make.

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.