My niece Tess just started her new high school.  It’s a boarding school in New England.

Trust me when I say it was her idea from the start.  She wanted to attend.

Scott and Tess in 1999

Her parents and I kept thinking that eventually she would have a change of heart.  Living away from home at 14 just amazes me.  When I was her age I was such a momma’s boy . . . the thought of not being “home” was crazy.

But don’t we do that all the time?  We assume, incorrectly, that based on our experience someone else will feel, think and act the same as us.

My sister told me that after she dropped her off on the campus, my niece seemed so happy it felt inappropriate to get all emotional.

We want to raise independent, adventurous, and kind kids, yet when we do, we miss them so much.  And let’s be frank, the kid who has those attributes is future-focused as we wax nostalgically about how time flies.

But successful parents and caregivers teach us adults a valuable lesson:  We make a difference in our children’s lives each and every day.

But what is the lesson for us old folks, without kids:  Well we can choose to remain childlike in our desire to try new things, to make new friends, and to explore new opportunities.

But how?

Step one is to look at the people with whom we spend the most time.  How do they help us, like my niece’s parents help her, to become the best we can be?

How are we allowing our adult relationships to create an environment to foster thriving and not floundering?

I think some people say they want to thrive but flounder is all they know or think they know.  So they pick the wrong people.

But it’s a lot like sports.

If we want to improve it helps if we play against someone better than us.

So choose relationships that challenge us to grow.  Choose the ones that make us aspire to be what and who we want to be, not ones that tell us we can never be.

Thrive like a kid!

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If you have any questions about coaching please feel free to contact me at scott@kineticcoaching.co, and remember I always offer a complimentary 30-45 minute session to prospective clients to determine if we want to work together.